Best Of Rock: 10 Sexiest Rock Songs
By Ralph Greco, Jr.
I don’t really want to know what gets you going (as I am sure you’d rather not hear about my fetish for 18-year-old Asian girls eating MoonPies), but suffice to say, as adults we are turned on, up and in by a whole host of different things. It stands to reason then that our idea of what songs we find sexy, hot and dirty will vary as much as our sometimes odd sexual peccadilloes.
I’ve attempted to list 10 songs I feel put a little lead in the old pencil, a breeze up the old skirt, and a sigh to the old thighs. As you’ll see, I’ve avoided the obvious — “Kashmir,” “I Touch Myself,” “I’m On Fire” — and, as always, my list is subjective. Nevertheless, this is an honest, not-so-obvious accounting of the 10 Sexiest Rock Songs.
1) Achilles Last Stand. This 10-minute-plus epic from Led Zeppelin’s masterful Presence album is riding-into-battle hot. Less for what Robert Plant is singing about (and really, does anybody ever really know what Robert Plant is singing about?) and more about the consistent rising-but-never-cresting beat of John Bonham and Jimmy Page’s slashing guitar.
2) Light My Fire (ala José Feliciano). OK, this version is technically not rock and roll, and though the original from the Doors is damn sexy in itself, Feliciano’s live take is prime making-out music. And if you want to try to even find me a better guitar player, I triple-dog dare ya!
3) Brown Sugar. In the Rolling Stones canon there are a lot of moments of strutting overt sexuality. “Sympathy For The Devil,” “Some Girls,” “Hot Stuff” and many others come to mind. For the cowbell alone, this one wins me over. Driven by a punching backbeat, this short little number bleeds innuendo and rocks everybody’s sugar.
4) Candy’s Room. This song from Bruce Springsteen’s Darkness On The Edge Of Town, with its super cool high-hat opening and a spiky guitar lead, says more in its brevity and garbled lyric than most songs double the length and production.
5) Heart Of The Sunrise. Never thought you’d see a piece from a progressive rock band here, huh? Sure, groups like Yes don’t attract the babes usually, but this one from Fragile is sexy as hell and here’s why: Chris Squire. From the get-go, he draws you in with his seductive bass line. When Jon Anderson wails, “Sharp, Distance,” that low-end gets you, you know where.
6) Because The Night. Written by Springsteen, but made famous by Patti Smith, this version captures all the rage and ache Bruce intended. Sung by Smith, however, it is just that much hotter.
7) Crimson And Clover. The warbling vocal, especially the “yeahs,” kicks even though it’s from way back in the day. I dig Joan Jett’s version, but Tommy James and The Shondells work it like nobody else. I dare to find another recording where a guy sounds this effeminate and, at the same time, this masculine.
8) Bebe le Strange. First of all, Heart’s Ann Wilson is one of rock’s greatest female singers. “Magic Man” almost made this list (it’s one damn sexy song), but “Bebe le Strange” takes the honors. Despite the subject matter (Jimmy Page), it’s the straight-ahead bite of the lyric with no punches pulled that gives it its edge. With an ending that goes nowhere at all, it jams out as Wilson screams “Come on Baby,” making it hot, hot, hot.
9) Lord Of The Thighs. Another one for less than what Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler is singing and more about the guitars. Those staccato moments bolstered by the way Tyler says “Th-i-i-i-i-g-hs,” it’s the sound of this song more than the fact that it has the “T” word in its title. Like the Stones, the boys from Boston have plenty of sexy moments, but this one does it for me.
10) All The Girls Love Alice. What I love about this one from Elton John’s Goodbye Yellow Brick Road album is Davey Johnstone’s amazing sounding guitar. Then there’s the lyrics. At the time of its release, nobody was quite sure where the John’s leanings lay, but listen again to the lyrics (written by Bernie Taupin) and see if you pick up what the song is really about. You might be surprised.
